You’re more beautiful than I could ever tell you. Not because I lack the imagination to feel all the colours and sounds and tastes that you are, but because I lack the knowledge to describe them to you in a language that is more than just pictures on the back of my eyelids, or a song I don’t know the words to. You see me mumbling in barely audible tones sometimes, I know you do, and though I don’t know what the song is, or what the lyrics are, I know what it feels like when I’m echoing down long hallways. You’re my return, and you only need to look at me, or kiss me, or hold me close, and I can hear my rise and fall reverberating through your body, down to your fingertips. You know what I mean when I say this is crazy, and I know what you mean when you said you’d given up.
Two beat up hearts that had convinced themselves that the feeling was over rated. That you would never find someone who wanted you to feel special, that I would never be able to tell someone what a piece of shit I am, and how special I am not. It’s easy to fall to pieces in your hands, and it’s easy to let the air out when you stroke my hair, as though my lungs are dissolving into water and the bubbles I’m blowing are caught in your long, gentle fingers.
You scared me, for the longest time. From the moment I met you, in fact. Your smile was intoxicating, and I wanted to get off the high, but I couldn’t. The thing that scared the shit out of me the most though, was the way I instantly had this feeling about you that I couldn’t shake. I mean, I was too nervous and shy to hit on you or give you my number or anything, I was terrified that you’d be indifferent to me. I was too scared of the connection I’d made that first time you flashed that smile at me, like a kid who’s been dared to touch an electric fence, trying to touch it but pulling away. Yet, here we are.
You’re everything that’s good, you’re everything I don’t deserve, but I’m going to do whatever I have to, to keep on hearing your laughter and seeing your face light up when I enter the room.
I hope you see me shining.