"What’s wrong with your heart?"

She rested her head against the passenger window. It was raining. I imagined that my lips were as cold as that glass, kissing her forehead.

"Tell me."

I watched the curve of her neck and her collarbones, soon to be covered by her coat when we got out of the car.

"I dunno."

I always was a shitty liar. Truth be told, it’d explained a few things. The tightness, the needing to remember to breathe from time to time. Things I’d just been imagining, until someone made them real.

"She said it’s not beating right."

The doctor raised an eyebrow when she scanned the ECG. Her thick Turkish accent referred me to another specialist for monitoring.

"I gotta get more tests, then we’ll know what’s wrong with me."

She held back tears, denying her alabaster cheeks their saltiness. She reached over and grabbed my hand, tangling her fingers amongst mine. Her eyebrows creased and her lip disappeared behind biting teeth.

"I don’t want there to be anything wrong with you."

A phrase I’d told myself so many times. My heart truly did have something wrong with it in that moment, it broke under her worries. It was still raining. I wanted the coolness of her cheek against mine. I kissed the top of her hand.

"I’ll be fine."

(Source: mister-selfdestruct)